GeMiNi RuLeS

I wan live my own life

2010-04-26T20:24:00.003+08:00

I WAN TO LIVE MY OWN LIFE
我要快乐，I wan my own happiness
Why can't I have it

Some people jux cannot mind their own business
Why keep interupting people life
Why I alway care abt wat people say
I hate myself
I hate you
I did find a job ok, it jux tt thing dun get into your way
Why is it wrong to select the job and location I wan
I knoe u dun mind far but no other ok.

Stop treating people the same as you
I really dam tired abt you
Stop messing my life
You Bloody Idiot

Yes I'm hot-temper so wat, dun tell me you are not ok
F*ck you

Word Hurt

2009-09-02T15:36:00.000+08:00

Word really hurt..

Someone is hurt by me
My word kills
The problem is I don't known I really say it or not
I not going to mention what is being received by the receiver
Because of this, i being sentence with a crime called badmouth
The word is really strong that it damage the image of me in the receiver mind
The SMS received gave me a hit on my head to whether should I watch what I say?
I seriously think I should but I don't think it me anymore

Emotion get into my mind and tears feel like dropping
I make me wonder it is hard to be friend with me
I alway have feeling that other don't like me
I very tired, everything suck to the limit
Sch, Exam, Friendship and timetable Suck
Sometime it really killing me
I feel like giving up everything
I just hope there will be courage for me to carry on

Sometime I feel there 2 person living inside me
One is being weak and another being vain
But the weak alway show up

Anyway to the receiver:
What I want to say I already say it in the sms
If it really hurt you I'm sorry
and I will keep my word in future

School Rock- Super Duper Tired

2009-07-18T23:10:00.003+08:00

It been weeks I didn't created any post. Nearly forgotten my password to blogger.
Been tired this few days due to school.

First Day
Imagine having class at 8.30am. That suck man. I was late for class for 15min. At first I was thinking why those UK people can wake up dam early and be punctual for classes. That apply to my lecturer. First shock of the day is Examination. This word can be scarly for those who just attend their first lesson. Once inside the class, lecturer instructed all of us to put away our note for a short Examination. Guess what everyone is startle. First test is logo test, the lecturer show us some logo and let us write now what is the company name. Like Macdonald logo, M, it only show half of it so it become N. Some are really easy like Singapore Airline and the lecturer was joking that if we get it wrong we can dun live in Singapore. However some are foreigner brand that I never see before. Second part, even more worse. Imagine the lecturer asking How many Starbuck store are there in Singapore? How Many Starbuck store around the world? What is India biggest consultant company? and many more. If you know the answer you are an expert.
The person with the highest score will get a Terry Bear.

Second Day
School start at 8.30am again. This time I am early lol. Because it rain that morning so alot of people are late. those who manage to come around 8.45am to 8.55am, the lecturer will greet you with " Good Afternoon" infront of the whole class. Imagine those come at 9.00am, he will greet you with "Good Evening". We need to find our group for project but there is no mark for project.
Discussed project during break. Designing our Mobile Phone Stall Plus case study. Lecturer from 8.30am to 9.30am and break for 20min continue lesson till 11.00am, then you have to start your case study in group. The case study passage is like never ending-more than 10pages and you have to present the case in class @ 12.30pm. So by only reading the case study it took us 1hr as a group and let only half an hr for answer and lunch. So what do you do? Eat and dicuss at the same time. I think in UK, they train people to eat and work at the same time. It happen all the time when I got case study. Super Duper Tired cos school end at 3.00pm todate. Sian.

Third Day
School start agian at 8.30am. Tired then end at 11.30am. The lecturer was explaining about service marketing and how mood and behavious can affect the service. And he mention that the school timing in the morning, he also dun like getting up early in the morning lol. He say he prefer afternoon classes. He told us how his daughter is being pressure by her peer everyday. Cos her peer all got the latest model HP. So everytime her daughter come home from schoold she will tell the lecturer she got a problem, keep saying her phone dun have 3G and the Camera pixel not good.lol. The way he talk is dam funny. After class head for lunch and then project discussion.

Fourth Day
School start @ 8.30am. Lecturer was teaching Segmentation. He was saying those married and live with their parent are rich and he is so envy. He group himself under married, have children and paying for the house loan as very poor. He told us his elder son jux gradute from university so still need him to feed.(For your info, to find a job in UK now is very hard). His second son going to university soon, spend money like water. And her daughter spend money like there is no life. He telling us he want to kick his daughter out as soon as she turn 18 yrs old then he will be very rich. In Uk, if you are above 18, you can live by yourself. So god rite? And school end at 3.00 todate and project discussion after that.

Fifth Day
School start @ 8.30am. Lecturer was sharing about his ecperience shopping in Singapore. He told us when he went into the shop the slae person was asking him what he is finding and my lecturer say jux looking around and guess what the sale person do? He keep walking behind my lecturer when he go around the shop, and he told us Singapore had very good service. Back in UK, if you reject the sale person help when you first stand into the shop, the sale person will just ignore you and walk away. The service in UK is not very good compare to Singapore.

I am now struck with my project, the designing of mobile phone. I think I really have problem with my group. I feel so alone and when I told them there is something wrong about the design, all ignored me lor. I still think there is something wrong with the design lor, they say maybe I think to much le.

Anyway got to finish my project now. Haix

Family Gathering

2009-06-27T23:56:00.009+08:00

21 June 2009 (Sunday)

Ong Family Gathering @ Aston (SSC)
9 PERSON attend this garthering including me.

BBQ Chicken

I Just feel the sauce is no right. It taste sour and I seriously have a hard time finishing it. "It taste so Weird" totally different from the BBQ chicken I eaten before. I think my taste are unique from other cos some actually say it nice.

Teriyaki Chicken

Order by my second cousin and brother. I think their taste nice. Never hear negative comment from them. I actually taste their and I think it not really my type of tea. I think I am fussy when it come to western food.

Steak

Order by my First cousin, the steak taste nice because that what she told me : )
For those who never eat steak before like me, You may not get use to the taste.

Black Pepper Chicken

Order by my last cousin. I taste her and I actually like it so much that next time I going to order it.

The Value For Money

Black pepper with sausage

Order by my fourth and fift aunt.It cheap and it taste delicious. Really value for money and after eating it you are so full. Actually there is one more Double Chicken. You get 2 type of chicken and it also very cheap. My third aunt order it byut didn't mange to take the photo because she sat too far from me.

The Not So Value For Money (Apply to some)

Steak

Order by my third cousin. It the most expensive among all the food above. If you go by quantity, then I dun think it Value for money as it had only 2 small slice and it hardly full your stomach.
In term of Quality, I think it Value for money because my cousin told me it is delicious : )

Overall, I think Aston is a good place for dinning because It is cheap and their food really taste good. But be prepared to wait for long queue.

Thing to Do while waiting for food
Photo taking session

" The Camera Lover" award

Ong Kai Xin

The Reason:

She Love Camera. Look at her using other cousin Handphone to take picture of her and set It as Wallpaper. LOL. So those promoting Hi-Tech Camera, Please kindly approach her. : ) I believe she will be trembling with anger when she see this. And one more photo of her posing for me:

Photo First, No time for food

What Cause her to have This Reaction?

Answer Is....

Seeing this

Her brother trying to act sissy. LOL.
Anyway just kidding. Her reaction is to stop me from taking photo of her eating. : )

Happy Birthday

2009-06-27T23:39:00.003+08:00

19 June

That is my birthday, I so happy that most of my friend remember my Birthday and sent sms to wish me a Happy Birthday. A big thank you to those who sent sms to me. It mean alot to me, as some might know that I had hardly received any Birthday wish from primary school to secondary because my birthday alway fal on school holiday. My parents had never celebrate my birthday with me and after many years of being alone to celebrate my birthday, I finally got friend who remember my birthday with sms wishes really melt my heart.

Anyway spent my birthday with Doreen. Meet her after work at CCK.
Below are what we had for dinner.

July 3

Doreen Birthday
Actually I wanted to get for her the keychain- Mr strong and Mr Naughty from 7-11 for her but no luck getting it. Sad. For Doreen, If you happen to saw this post- I sorry that I cannot make it for the gathering on Friday due to fever. Anyway just to wish you an advance Happy Birthday to you : )

Unhappiness

2009-05-21T20:36:00.004+08:00

Stop telling me you dun have any happy memories in your mind.
Stop telling me you cannot feel any happiness in your life
You can only say this when you are dead.
Everyone in this whole can feel happiness because they have feeling and that make them a human being. The reason why you can't feel any happiness in your life is bec you filled your life with too many unhappy memories, thus making you forget all the happiness. Everyone have their own burden on their shoulder, you mux knoe which one to let go and which one stay on.
If you have to much anger in your mind, you will no longer feel the happiness in this world and guess what it shape your life from a colourful to grey.
When thing are over, you mux let go, keeping too much anger dun make you a good person nor give you a healthy mindset. You want to remember those who own you, who make your life miserable but will it do any good to you, do you think by remembering them they will feel guilty about what they did? Forget it life is so cruel.
No point make yourself so miserable and unhappy.

Dun say you cannot be happy, you can but are you willing to try?
Try letting go of all the anger & worry.
Filled it with all the happy thing.
What is past is already past tense no point bring it out again. Time will never came back.
Everyone had a scar (Wound) that they dun wan other to knoe. Since he already learnt his lesson through the hard way, why can't you forget it and move on? Stop bring the past back to him and make a fuss that he scream and shout @ you. Why do you want to add salt to the wound and complain when actually you are hurting someone.

You need to find something to make yourself happy, dun say you cannot find it. You can if you are willing to try. Stop keeping all the anger and make your life so dull. Dull life is no gd because I had it too. Something I wish I can tell you but I cannot bring myself toking to you. I did also make my life dull once and guess wat? when it get serious, yr mind will give you the wrong signal thinking dead is a gd way to solve it. I had this tok before But later I wake up on time bec I got my fren. I hope you dun follow my example. Giving up is not a good way. It show only how weak you are.

Dun say you cannot find happiness in a relationship. You have it, it jux that you forgotten. I believe it happiness that bring you together with him. Put down your disappointment and think of how he work hard and support you. Jux try to recall. If you are really unhappy there is always way to solve problem.

I knoe you will not listen but jux wan to say the below word to you:

YOU LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE
IF YOU CANNOT HELP YOURSELF
NO ONE CAN HELP YOU
OPEN YOUR HEART &
ACCEPT HELP
IT NOT A DISGRACE
BEC EVERYONE NEED HELP

Grey's Anatomy Rock

2009-05-21T20:18:00.004+08:00

Look What is the latest Video Game?

Grey's Anatomy

This game is nice and I can't believe I spent 2 whole days playing it. This is a prefect game for those who want to be a doctor but can't make it. This game allows you to act like a doctor. Analyze & operate on patient. Don't worry even if you operate wrongly, you can restart all over again. (Better than real Life as the patient wouldn't die even you make mistake. LoL). Forget to tell you all, you will be given certain time to complete the operation.I am happy to announce I finish the whole game le.

And one more thing to happy about- My brother brought me the McDonald cup. The pink colour one. Asking him to buy one for me and he really buy. But I think the colour look more like white.

Breakfast (Overdue pict)

2009-05-21T20:11:00.007+08:00

When everyone is busy working in the office. I had my long and heavy breakfast.
Nice Bee Hoon from Yishun. Happy Breakfast= Happy Day

Bee Hoon and Soya Milk

Noodles (Dry), You Tao & Chocolate Milk

Confuse & Uncertain

2009-04-10T00:52:00.009+08:00

Yeah...I received confirmation from University of Birmingham-SIM. Actually at first I was so anxious whether I can get in or not. Keep hoping I can get in bec their expectation is so high, Avg B Grade and a pass in o level English.
When I received the letter my feeling become shock and uncertain. Uncertain is bec I am scare I cannot cope with the modules. However, After toking to Sam I decided to give it a try. What thing in this world is so certain. I think I ask him a very stupid qn: When you apply course do you scare that you cannot cope? And he ans: Of course la. I'm human le. (ya true)
But the following sms he sent me I think it meaningful: But I wan to create something and not senting resume. I think he wan to say he wan to create his dream of becoming a writer.

Anyway before I received confirmation, I'm confused of actually what I suppose to do next: Find Temp job or Perm Job? Then I decided to let god decide which patch I have to take. Go serval interview but nope sucessful. And true enough, god help me to chose education yet open another problem for me.

My saving is not enough for my education fee. Most importantly I need to save some for emergency use so the Max I can fork out is $6k which is my first sem education fee. But how about my textbook, transportation all tt. Althought my dad say the second sem he will pay for me but how abt the final yr? My bro are so touching todate, he say he can help me pay also but how? He still haven find a job yet. I think the burden is too heavy for my dad and suddenly I felt so guilty. Actually I intend to get loan from bank but mum disagree cos she say interest rate too high. I jux when to NTUC loan website, even I loan from them I need to pay them the following month by installment and not after my education. If people got money pay, you think they will get loan meh? Hate It La.

Maybe my aunt is rite I'm rushing thing without thinking carefully. Maybe I should take her advise work for next 5yrs and at the age of 29 then take degree? At the age of 29, is my brain still as gd as 23? At the age of 23 I already have problem remembering thing lor. My mum keep telling me mux realli study hard in uni all tt really make me feel so stress and scare.

I hate myself from being so restless and lazy. Keep telling myself I need to improve my English, brought lot of book and Guess What? It all rottting at my desk. Extremely Well Done

So now what am I suppose to do?
Can anyone tell me?
Study first then find ways or quit?
I think my C-Box are Dead

Man VS Woman

2009-04-06T23:42:00.004+08:00

Part one of Men Vs Women
Below are the different between Man and Woman:
NO HARD FEELING, EVERYTHING IS JUX FOR A LAUGH

Men
1) When faced Quarrel/Arguement with their wife/girlfriend, Men will use silent to try to stop women from continuing their long and repreate lecture. They like this pharse silent is gold.
By remaining silent, prevent them from saying something which is wrong and will inflame their partner/situatation.

Women
1) In a Quarrel/Arguement, when Men stop their arguement, Women think they won.
And what they will do to celebrate this victory? They will continue their long lecture, driving the guys mad. And their lecture is alway in recorder mode

Men
2) When men praise a woman for their good figure dun mention it infront of their wife/girlfriend even it is causual or jux for fun.
There will be hell...

Women
2) When their boyfriend praise other woman, they will feel that their Husband/Boyfriend is hinting them that they should behave or have the same figure as them. Often leading them to insecure.

Men
3) Men know how hard it is to earn money, mostly they will be more careful when they spent money on unwanted item.

Women
3) Women are mostly likely to buy many unwanted item and will only discover it when their wardrobe is stuck full with their stuff. Women know that men are working hard outside, and to reward them by asking them to be ATM.

Anyway take a look at the below commercial ( Men Vs Women)

Nasty

2009-04-06T23:33:00.003+08:00

I wrote so many thing abt wat happen to me and Guess WHat?
It is not save so everything is delete when I got logout.
I guess the blog is protesting that I disclose too much information(that will expose me to higher risk of being sue)

Anyway I and my ex-colleague got fool like a clown when I went down todate to get my pay.
I had never met a nasty boss liek this before
I can believe when everyone hear my story they will be cursing my boss
My accountant Calculate my pay wrongly so another trip down to office on Thurs.
(Dun treat me like a fool again or you will be sorry boss & I really mean it. Enough is Enough dun test my limit)

And I hope My fren will never encounter this situation and dun ever work in this ex company I am working.
If you wan to knoe wat company, ask me personally.

You Have A Bad Day

2009-03-24T22:10:00.003+08:00

This is what someone told me: " You've a bad day".
Many unluck thing happen to me, make me so tired.

One gd news is 2moro is my last day at work, tender 2 weeeks ago.
Todate afternoon me and my manager got locked outside our room. (Incase you dun knoe I and the manager share a room)
Before that we and another colleague was having arguement with my manager. To prevent other from coming in, my colleague locked the door. Then after the meeting we all went out and I am the last one to left the room then the next thing I knoe the door is locked and best thing is no one has the key to the room only my boss who is still in KL.
Totally fuck lor everyone turn the fault to me lor since I am the last one to leave the room.
My "clever"colleague keep pushing the fault on me lor and the best thing is it none of her business also. She keep saying I am the last one to leave so I mux settle this problem. I didn't even close the door neither did I lock the door. Did she really saw me the last one to go into the office? cos got one lady enjoy going to my office also. Even if I am the last one to leave the room, am I so stupid to lock my room when I left my expensive stuff in without a key. Call boss and the last option is call locksmith.

Locksmith called and I have to wait until 8.50pm for him to come and the whole day I doing nothing bec my laptop is in my room. super hungry but only left with the nearly expire maggie mee. And my manager dun wan to pay for the locksmith cos she scare cannot claim back the money. In the end, the locksmith person said actually the lock already got problem le. Then bec we never close the door properly so it jam, so it not my fault lor
and in the end my manager pay for the new lock and claim from the boss later.

Finally at 9pm can go hm, then on my way to the train station I discovered my E-link card MIA.
Look so long still cannot find. Dam unlucky. Then at hm quarrel with my bro. I jux asking him how is he job hunt. Did he take the newspaper and find? He say I forcing him to find job and he is busy todate. For goodness sake lor tired when you are not even working and staying up late at night watching show and wake up only after lunch. This call tired lor. WTF, 25 yrs old le still act like kid lor. Never really think of the future he still need to support the family, get marry........I not forcing him but at least try to look throught the newspaper la.It is to hard for you? Do you think Dad still can support you always. He nearly 60 le. I think my mum really spolit him by saying find slowly and her son took it as"an excuse to slack more".
I finally can understand why some people say this:
" Women is always more mature than Men in their thinking."
This is absolutely true.

Burst

2009-02-25T22:35:00.010+08:00

A few days ago receive Sam call, Lol it bec of the previous post I posted. Lol. I think I scared him.
Anyway todate quarrel with my mum rite after I come hm for work. The reason simple: Be cof work. Actually todate when I going off to work I told her I wan quit this job then she sound unhappy she said:" Uni start only July so many month you wan do wat?" Then I said :" Find Part-time job lor". And when I come hm I saw todate newspaper the recruitement copy. So I jux ask I din ask you buy newspaper le. She reply jux buy see who wan find job then see lor. I knoe the newspaper she brought specially for me one althought my bro jux grad from poly. So i puposly ask for bro to find job huh? Then she already unhappy and it really a bad time to continue with the topic of me quitting job. The reason I need to ask her is bec she also keep asking me to find job when I dun have one and keep urging u to accept a job u dun really like.
When I told her by the time I quit my bro finish reservice and should find a job already.
She dam angry shouted at me:" stop pushing yr bro finish job la, Let him slowly find, you wan go uni u go, dun stress him". I suddenly feel like crying why me and my bro treatment so differ. She din even say slowly find to me, keep saying this job dun wan, that dun wan wat you wan do?.

I dash to the bathroom immediatly cos I knoe my tear is coming out and at one point my mind was thinking using a pen knife to cut myself. I stay in the bathroom crying while bathing. When I come out i knoe I death. My mum knoe I was crying inside(my eye is red) and I got so angry I din even wan to tok to my bro then my mum was like shouting to me:" You go do your thing dun distru yr bro, i wan him slowly to find the job he wan, Now hard to find job, dun pressure him he not going uni so job can slowly find......" and wat make me so hurt is this:" You wan study, not enough money dad can borrow you a little, dun pressure yr bro, your cousin parent also no money study uni, my cousin also go work part-time to pay her uni fee. She was like telling me I pressure my bro bec of uni fee like I asking my dad for money also. I so angry man I told her even I broke I also will not take my dad money ok, I will find my own way. Totally Fuck man

She think my bro is fragile then how abt me. Did she care abt my feeling? Both are her child but treatment is alway so differ. Wat am I to her? Everytime I tok to her abt quitting job her face was like black face. Keep telling me all job are like tt and I can bet if my bro tell this to her she will sure say quit lor. I knoe my bro going reservice next week but he got 2 week of off now he din even use it to search the newspaper see the job he wan lor. I not pressure him jux wan let him knoe tt he can find and go interview then tell the person he going reservice for 2 weeks then after 2 weeks can work. Now so many people finding job so you mux faster than them. He said he saw his fren going interview le he stress then wat he doing now, slacking at hm. Anyway I not going to say him le, later he stress again my mum will shout me for pressuring her fav boi. Actually I feel very guilty I think I am my mum quarrel , my bro feeling the pressure le cos I saw him reading the newspaper.

I feel like getting out of this place to a place I can relax and stop thinking thing. I really dun feel like staying here.

PS: Bro I angry no bec of you jux the unfair treatment I received.

The last thing I knoe: My life had already torn apart, I totally exhuasted and I going to collapse soon.

Lunch @ Aston

2009-02-25T22:12:00.005+08:00

Lunch @ Aston with my bro. A treat from him bec I help him with his final year project.
Wat I like to say is Aston sells cheap and nice Western Food. Yummy Yummy. I ordered Grilled Fish With Herb, Side dish was Tasty Rice, Garden Veggie. My bro ordered, Double chicken (Black Pepper & fired chicken), Side Dish was Pasta Salad and French Fried Plus Garlic Bread and a glass of coke. Total only $21plus. Cheap rite. The serving is huge also I very full after eating mine then my bro give me some of the chicken, wow dam full lor.. Below is wat we ate.

Grilled Fish With Herb (Side Dish: Graden Veggie, Tasty Rice)

Double Chicken (Side Disk: French Fried, Pasta Salad)

Garlic Bread

Who Is She?

2009-02-25T21:38:00.004+08:00

Who is she? She is my first student.

2 week ago (Sun) went with Sam to the church. Our duty is to teach the children their homework. So my first student is Nikita, Primary 3. Actually I so nervous teaching (Math) cos it my first time but she really make my job so easy. Not only she is clever, she also very obedient althought abit quiet sometime. I promise Nikita that we will play game last Sunday but I am sick. So sorry Nikita, I promise next week we will have game ok? Poor Sam, the student he going to teach is Primary 6 and subject is Math. He got so worry say want change student with me but lucky the girl best subject is Math so Sam need to teach only her weak subject which is Chinese.

Anyway after tution will to West Mall with Sam to watch reach out for the star(Starting Andy Lau & ShuQi), Sam keep telling me befor the movie that this movie not nice but in the end who is the one keep laughting so loud. Lol. The show is so nice lor so all can go watch. If no One accompany you ask me, I dun mind watching second time. After movie, We will shop around West Mall and ended shopping in Korean shop snatching tibits and maggie mee..lol..See below wat I buy. It cost me $12.

I knoe the table cloth very striking but it mum fav ok.Lol

CNY Photo

2009-02-25T21:18:00.003+08:00

I back with my CNY photo which I suppose to post long long time ago. Enjoy

我要的幸福

2009-02-09T22:01:00.006+08:00

Todate is a very sad day.
I cannot image myself actually cry infront of my fren
However, I din manage to stop myself from crying infront of my colleague althought they knoe I was going to cry
This is the first time I din actually feel like crying at people shoulder
I try very hard to control my tear in MRT, I dun wan to be attention seeker
and getting myself post in YouTube
First in my life I dun feel like going hm
I dun wan them to knoe I upset
I took out my HP looking for fren I can really pour my emotion
But to found out there only 2 I can sms to
Poor thing. some fren I feel so close suddenly seen so far from me
Thax Doreen and Kate for replying my sms
I feel very bad tt I would actually ruin yr entire mood for the day

Craving for beer on my way hm on the train
Thinking of using beer to numb myself
Counting how many beer would actually KO me to bed
and able to wake up for work next day?
How many beer would actually numb me for life?
Kate was rite No matter how much you drink you still neeed to wake up and face the problem
I wan to move on but I can't
My leg is tied with a big rock
I pray to god that one day I have the power to remove the big rock on my leg

I tired hard to hold back the tear in my eye infront of family
I trick my parent but I can't trick my bro
He knoe I upset but he remain silent
I lock myself in the bathroom and cry like nobody business
My eye is red from crying but nope of my parent knoe'
I tok my tear had already dry up but yet it become evaporated into my eye
and come out from my eye when it become heavy
I actually cry infront of my bro when he was asking me wat happen
Maybe I dun get use to him being so concern abt me
Gd thing is it bring me closer to him than before
I din tell him anything bec I dun wan him to be stress
& most importantly I dun wan him to went through wat I go through
My tear is never ending
Can't image I was crying & typing at the same time

Doreen & Kate
Thank for the chat
You guy rock
Kate I REALLY admire you regarding the time you working in Hitachi
Sorry to bother you all abt my problem
Word cannot express how thankful I am
I love you all
PS: Doreen save your blog from rotting.lol

I tok I can forget abt living my own life, making my own decision
but soemehow it start bugging me after disappear for a 2days
I really wan to live my own life but I dun really have the courage

我要的幸福，离我越来越远

我要快乐

Depression, Triedness,Sickness.........

2009-02-03T21:51:00.004+08:00

I am totally tried. I feel I going to collapse soon.
I had enough of everything, all the stupid nonsense in my life.
Getting grumpy day by day.
Hate facing fake people everyday
Hate to do thing that is not my duty
Hate the fact that I have only 1 boss but It turn out that I got plenty of boss
Hate myself for unable to control my tears
Feel like escaping from everything BUT I dunno which way to go
I am totally torn apart
Fear Overcome me
I might have everything but in actual I have nothing at all

I think I getting depressing
I am 23 but I still cannot make up wat I wan
No matter how I walk I am still back at the same place
I hate myself for acting like a kid
I am 23 but I have not acheive anything
I think I make a lot of mistake But the actual Big mistake I made can never be amended
It all because I refuse to listen to good advise

I hate when I decided to do something people will push me down by saying negative thing
I hate when people encouraging me will alway end with negative remarks
Many people tell me it ok not to have any acheivement have money is most important
I have Money but why am I still so sad
Why the money I earn cannot buy the happiness I wan, the time I lost

I now understand why people like to use beer to numb themselves
Once you are drunk, you can do many incredible thing you can never do in your real life
The depression you feel the next day is because you realise that everything is only a dream and you still need to face the Fucking life you hate.

Some people chose to live their life like they are drunk
Reason is the more awake you are, the more dim you feel yr life is
So how should I live my life?
Maybe I should buy a few beer and make myself drunk now so I can stop thinking abt this.LOL

I can feel that my mind and body are united
When my mind is sick my body is sick too
Lol, This is the first time they are so alike.
Anyway, I haven start drinking but I already feel the house turning in merry-go-round
Maybe it time to head off to ZZZZZ land.

By the way, come across this article that say Can depression Ever be good to you?
Some vote yes
So If depression is gd should I continue to be depressing?
So Vote your choice now.

Happy CNY?

2009-02-01T21:52:00.007+08:00

Had been busy for the past few days finding job. Real hate it why I always genna the lousy job, so tired of finding job le. haiz.. enough of this. Happy Chinese New Year to all. I knoe it a bit late.

Here I going to post about wat I had been doing CNY.

CNY Eve

Wake up dam early at 8am helping my mum wif the household chores. Busy until 12pm, have lunch and slack until 6pm before preparing for SteamBoat. After dinner when to temple to pray, then stay hm watching show. Sleep at 2plus am. And my dad was trying to trick me when I having my lunch.

Dad: This Wu Xiang(I think the thing I eat is call wu xiang ba.lol) very nice lor

Me: Of course la. Grandma made one, sure nice lor

Dad: Not la. Not grandma do one.

Me: Not grandma do one meh? (cos I remember my mum tell me early tt grandma do one)

Then I go ask my bro & mum

Bro: No la. Dad buff you one la. It grandma made one la.

My dad was laughing so loud in the kitchen lor.

First Day of CNY

Down with slight flu.

Wake up @ 10plus am to have my Breakfast cum lunch.

After lunch, getting ready to go out.

Below is wat I wear:

At 1plus pm, went to My Da gu, my dad first bro hm. my dad third cousin house and last my dad second sis hm. And guess wat we actually went to one area Yishun only and there no much walking cos they are either living in the same block or jux next block.lol. Anyway wan more important is Ang Bao. I did get quit a few la cos most of my relative also gather @ my Da Gu hm. Reach hm @ 3 plus pm,KO to bed..lol too tired. At nite after dinner, Start reading the computer book I borrow from the library. First day of CNY is always boring as usually.

Second Day of CNY
Down with slight cold

Wake up @ 9plus to have my breakfast and getting really to go out.

Went to my Grandma hm. Actually I enjoy going there during CNY cos can enjoy my fav activites Gambling. LoL and of course catching up with my cousin.

Look My cousin like to smell me. cos I smell GOOD.LOL

Group Photo: Look my cosuin(AH-DI) wan to

Become superman but to me he look like skinny
Superman..LoL

And did I manage I did win? lol..i win $5.50..hahaaha.

Third day of CNY

My company is close for a week for CNY.

My body declare MC.

Went see doc, get 3 medicine and conslutation cost me $32 of my ang bao money.WTH

Stay hm and continue to sick for 2 days.

Yesterday

In the evening went to my xiao gu hm for dinner and gambling.

My xiao gu always organize this CNY gathering every yr.

After missing so many yrs, we finally went this yr.

Saw alot of my relative but most of them I did even knoe wat to call them.

This yr best thing is get one extra Ang Bao (Did I mention my cousin get marry last yr).

Went I step in xiao gu hm, she was so excited to get her son (the one jux marry last yr) to give me Ang Bao.

Cos she say her son first time give so scare will miss out some.

When my cousin come in to give Ang Bao. he is choosing the "rite time" .

I was busy scoping the rice and I had to put down my bowl to take the Ang Bao.

The best part is my bro din not go to xiao gu hm so my cousin wan to pass the Ang Bao to any of us to keep for him:

My Cousin: hm...the Ang Bao for.........(he pause for a long time thinking for my bro name, I tok Lawyer should be gd in remembering pp name? lol I bad ok.)

Me busy scooping the rice.

After a few pause he finally manage to come out wif a name but not my bro name..lol

My Cousin: give it to who to keep?

I tok my mum will take but she too busy eating lor, totally ignore him.

Me: Give me lor

My Cousin: Dun confiscate le (laughing)

He really got a sense of humor.

The food was ok..But the rice too cold le.I had a hard time finishing the cold rice.lol

It so nice to have a gathering like this and you can see a lot of relative you only see in Big event.

The bad thing is you have a hard time calling each other.

Like my cousin (Jux got marry last yr) wife.

We bump into each other and she was smiling to me but I dunno wat to call her so I jux smile and walk away.

I knoe it rude but I dun really knoe wat to call her.

Somemore her husband I din even call him bro cos he only older than me by few yr call bro a bit funny somemore no close also.

Anyway todate is Sunday and I going to go back to office 2moro.

Become more lazy after the long holiday.

I hate working

New Blog Song

2009-01-20T23:12:00.006+08:00

Yo News Update

I had change the blog song to 女皇驾到

Why I change this song Bec I AM THE QUEEN

YES THE QUEEN IS HERE

CALL ME QUEEN.LOL

Thax Antzx and Sam for helping me find the song You're my angel. I really like this song.
Thax : )

New year (A new start, A new hair style)

2009-01-20T22:56:00.003+08:00

Yo, I finally cut my hair last sat. This is my first time after so long I cut my front hair short.

Alot of my collague say I look younger witht he new Hair style so How you guy think? I knoe the pict very dark : (

My New hair style

And yes A brand new beginnig so I decide to learn new things. Have been trying to improve my english and most importantly I had took up PC Troubleshoot lesson (Learn & Teach by myself)

So anyone volunteer to provide me with computer to try out. Lol, I hardly doubt got pp will let me try their com. Anyway if you go any spolit com can dun mind let me do testing..lol. And Thax Antzx for helping me go library find the PC book, and to tell you the truth I haven even touch it.Mux start 2moro.

New yr also mean NEW Clothing

Yes I brought a blouse for my office wear. Guess how much It cost? The whole set Only $10. I really like it alot cos it my style. Today I wore it to office any many colleague say It nice. So the moral of the story is: You don't need to buy expensive clothing to look nice, cheap clothing also can make you look nice. You wear the Clothing and not the other way round.

Song Sharing

2009-01-20T21:38:00.004+08:00

Can't remeber how long I din post le. Anyway I here to share a song, to me it quite meaningfull and I like it the first time when I listen to it. This song is first intro by my cousin.
Below are the video (Look how amazing their hand is), lyrics provided below also. Hope you guy enjoy it. After you look at the lyrics you will knoe how meaningfull it is and why I like it.

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I amI am Yours, I am Yours
Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

Jan 4

2009-01-04T22:09:00.003+08:00

Todate my mum wake me up @ 7.45am asking me to accompany her take report from the clinic. I did promise to go with her last nite but she really wake me up too early le. Todate the clinic clsoe @12pm then so early go for wat. Haiz she real gan zhong. Had lunch @ AMK then around 12plus reach hm. After a while going out again. Before going out something bad happen then quarrel wif my mum. I dun wish to tok anymore it jux bec of a stupid com. Then we went Yishun bec My dad want to buy a TV cabinet for me. I had been puting my TV on the floor for ages and my dad feel tt it very ugly to put it on the floor. The person recommend a TV Cabinet @ $100 plus but I dun really like it lor I perfer another one. Then my dad say since I like the other one then jux buy it.Actually I wan to pay but my dad insist he wan to pay. Thax daddy for buying me a cabinet. Below are my cabinet. Nice?

I think I not gd in taking pict.

I am so tired, yesterday sleep @ 3am now I dunno wat I typing. Anyway I really feel very uncertain abt my new job. Cos I nearly finish all the IT stuff they ask me to do. So after this nothing to do le lor. I dun think they will still want me lor. Why I got this feeling hate it la. No use worry wat will come will come, so take a step and see wat happen next. I wan go uni but I dun have the $, dun feel like borrow from bank also bec of the interest. Somemore I still own my dad CPF $ lor. If borrow from bank I will be heavy in debt le. Haiz dunno wat to do la. : (

Anyway hope GOD BLESS ME.

Shopping @ Novena

2009-01-04T21:49:00.003+08:00

Went shopping wif my mum & bro. My mum wan to go there buy new yr cloth. Anyway manage to find my new yr clothing also but it dam expensive. I spent $70 plus on a dress and belt and $30 plus for a shoe. So I intend to but only one new yr clothing. First day I will be wearing last yr clothing tt I wore to my grandma hm since my father side have not see me wear tt before.lol save money. Second day will be wearing the new clothing to my grandma hm. So now left only contact lense haven buy. Then I also need to cut & rebond my hair. My mum also manage to buy 2 new yr clothing. the second one is I buy for her. After shopping we went to Bee Kia Seafood Restaurant @ Sin Mee Eating House(opp Thomson Medical Center) for dinner.

We order pork + Vegetable + Seafood Tofu + Slice Fish + One Plate of Fried Rice + 3 Bowl of rice + 1 Fried Rice Takeaway(For my dad). Wow we really a big eater man. Total cost for this meal will be $41.50 for 3 person. Most important thing is the food taste nice. Now got craving for Prata House Prata. Anyone wan join me? I really enjoy eating so fren got nice food intro me.

Happy New Year

2009-01-01T22:31:00.006+08:00

Yo Happy New Year to all.
I jux change my blog song. I really Like this song very much but too bad cannot find the full version.
Alot of people asking me how I rate my life in 2008. One word Suck.
However, I learn alot of thing in this yr:

1) Appreciate
I learnt to appreciate those around me. Those who really stand by me when my life is so down. Really a big thax to all. I will never forget you all if you all need help in future let me knoe. If I can I will help. Alot of thing happen I really appreciate what gods had given me. You dun need to have many fren in life all you need is someone who you can really trust and will stand by you no matter wat happen. I am glad I had find some of them. : )
If you learn how to appreciate, your life will be full of happiness.

2) Setback
There are many setback in life but alway remember that gods may close one door for you but will open another one for you. Learn how to take setback as a lesson, every patch of our life we will make mistake it jux how we going to learn from it. Setback dun make you weak but will make you into a stronger person. One setback will let you appreciate other thing you miss.
Dun be afraid no matter how hard the setback is as long as you stand firm you can overcome it.

3) Optimistic
Alway stay optimistic that the way to keep yrself from depression. Dun think that you are the worst. There are many people who are worst them you. Life is short so stay happy and enjoy wat you have. So every morning when you wake up be glad that you are still alive.

So my moto is
STAY HAPPY, DARE TO DREAM

Actually I hate 2009 to come cos it will be a tough yr ahead with economic depression. I am so stress up with my job that I keep waking up in the middle of the nite. Anyway I chose not to think about this anymore. What come by will come, so let gods decide wat next. And one think hate to wait for Jan 5 to get my pay somemore it cheque lor. They only pay salary on every mth 5. Haiz anyway how late as long got pay can le. : )

Now what I can hope for is to get a good sleep.
Jux like Amei song I wan happiness?:

我要快乐我要能睡的安稳

Xmas

2009-01-01T22:00:00.010+08:00

Meeting Doreen, Kate and Kelis on boxing day. Actually meet 7pm but I was early at 6.10pm.

This is the first time I meet them I am early.lol. Cos I finish work early then them and the location is nearer to orchard. WOW so many people at orchard lor. After meeting we will so humgry so went to Big O for dinner. Below are the picture of our dinner. The picture of our gathering will post once received.

Nite view:

Receive present from Kate and Doreen. I forget to buy them present for Xmas. So forgetful going to get them New Year Present. Those 2 are my angel. Thax for accompany me throught all hard time. I glad I work in Hitachi becos I get to knoe 2 best fren. Love you all. So touch to receive yr present, love it so much. Especially the photo Doreen give me, the little message. Kate your pouch I will use it. Come jux in time in need it. : )

Kate present

Doreen Present

2008-12-25T22:47:00.003+08:00

I alway tok I can hang on there but now I am starting to give up.
I feel like leaving this job. Why I got this feeling I also not sure.
Now I real hate going to work lor. Getting sleepless nite now and then.
Is it bec of stress or...
Whatever, God please bless me I can hang on till I find a job.

2nd and 3rd of work

2008-12-22T20:51:00.005+08:00

Actually wan to post it on Fri but too tired to blog le. 2nd of work since ok and it firday so looking forward to the weekend. The only bad thing is I have to sit at the receiption area for the time being. Sad. But boss say she is going to buy a new computer for me and put it in the room but I think she will busy uuntil never buy lor.Then pp walk in tok I am a receiptionist then my colleague all pai seh cos the area too small le then they keep asking me to go out a while got they wan to take thing which is store at the drawer near me.Haiz. Yap did I tell you the General Manager si like shit? Telline me how to dress up and keep bossing pp around. But lucky she haven control me yet maybe I not under her. But todate she give me a time card say 2moro i mux punch my time in, out and lunch also.WTH lor. Boss also never ask me punch lor. Then my Colleague ask em to tell boss when she come back on Friday but forget it la. Actually I dun like puch card cos I alway late.Lol cos the other pp working time is very late while I start early so normally my office morning time is me alone thent he rest come around 9.30am. Todate I purposely come late cos I knoe boss and other no in office only me. But from 2moro onward no more le. sad. WHEN WILL MY COMPUTER BE READY?

Oh ya this is for a best fren. I think she knoe who she is.
Anyway since you make a decision so dun think too much. Wat I can give you is advise but no matter wat happen remember to "ren" No matter what will happen dun regret the decision you make. Jux Take it a learning point so that next time you will no make the wrong decision or who knoe maybe you will feel happen there. Jux remember to look carefully before signing the contract. If feel not comfortable dun force yourself. Dun think ecomonic very bad then scare cannot find job then accept something you dun really like. There is alway a way out, it only whether you wan to take it or not.The best thing is to follow yr heart. your heart will tell you the real decision. What most improtant in life is you are happy and do the thing you want. I will stay by you no matter wat happen.

加油

First day of work

2008-12-18T20:45:00.004+08:00

Yes.I change a new job, the reason is bec they pay me a higher pay.
Today is really a fucking day lor.
First ask my mum to wake me up at 6.20am but she came into my room at 5am plus to put my clothing so loud lor mwake me up.Then angry then nv mind she call me 5min earlier lor haiz.
Then I told the boss I will come sign the appointment letter on the first day of work(wrong move) and request the boss to include the working hr all tt, she say ok but in the end never put.
Actually suppose to sign the letter at 8.30am lor but the bioss come late lor never tell me wait until 9 plus going 10am. Then real pissed off when I see the contract but bec I quit the job no choice accept lor. The more FUCKING THING is there is so many rule and regulation lor. No wonder the gar there say warehouse is better lor. All hate the boss lol.
1) No eating in office
2) Mux wear a black jacket
3) Mux put on make up
4) Mux wear formal wear
Then the more best thing is I need to do IT stuff and some admin (cos the gar busy lor then like I not busy lor) designing the website is hard enough lor, somemore need it by end of this month crazy la. Then todate she say maybe sat & sun mux come back if the com spoilt.WTH.You think iI knoe how to repair com me. If the satff dunno how to us esoftware also mux come back.Fuck lor..come office only for this no claim also.
Then more thing to come while I design my website so many pp come distru lor then my boss keep seeing em do the website keep asking me to change lor. Hey I only finish one webpage only le.You keep asking me to change how to finish all this month.

Then the boss funny lor employ all the pop dunno how to use com le. Buy the software so expensive but never train the people lor.Then todate let me see the software immediately ask me to do the calculation for commision lor.She also dunno lor ask so many colleague all dunno then she expect me first day of work first time working knoe how to do lor. Somemore no manual to follow also.Me dam angry I keep telling my boss say sure got manual one then she manage to find one for me lor then so thick ask me go hm read. Then all the data entry I need to do cos the staff busy then they all dunno how to use the software.Fuck la.First day of work make me work OT already lor.Cos she drive me to factory then she do thing very slow lor so end up me doing nothing but cannot go hm so OT.Other colleague in warehouse also waiting to go hm lor.they dam angry with boss their reaction lol.I can feel the warehouse is like HEAVEN while the branch I am in is HELL. Somemore the boss like look down I cannot finish the website.

Anyway for the sake of money and before I find another job I mux Jia You. Dun let boss look down on you. Never give up until you find a job or you really cannot hang on anymore.

加油

Song

2008-12-15T23:44:00.003+08:00

Below are the song I wan to share for those who lost their love one

Mariah Carey- Bye Bye

Me

2008-12-15T23:23:00.006+08:00

I knoe something Is wrong with me

But I dunno why

Feeling dam sick

Why It is bec of my gastic?

I so afraid man

Is it bec I lack of sleep

Keep telling myself not to eat chilli but still i ate

Tell myself to clean my room but laziness over rule

Keep telling myself to wake up when my alarm rang but still I keep saying Fuck You to the alarm clock and slam it on the table and continue my beauty sleep.

Keep telling myself to exercise but one day after another it still not started yet

Keep delay going to blood test jux bec I dun wan to make myself hungry

Keep telling myself to be alert when working but at the end of the day laziness and sleepy rule the day

Giving promise to other but never make it

Why do I keep following other people instruction when can I have my own thinking

Something mux be wrong to me.

Fuck man when can I change all my bad habit

Pissed off

2008-12-15T22:51:00.005+08:00

I am really pissed off with this person....
Say wat you wan to say ok.
At the end of the day you are a self-centered person
Wat I say to you are jux fact And I had nothing to hid or scare abt
AND MOST IMPORTANT THING IS I AM NOT BIAS TO ANYONE OK..

And stop everytime use this sentence:" Yr attitidute very bad tt why "Friend" dun wan to say you anymore lor" when you quarrel wif me.
This is bec you only tell "Friend" gd thing abt you and bad thing abt me.
When I told "Firend" the true and the bad thing you do, you will say you nv I trying 加油加醋
Come on why hid it when all of us knoe.
Only me and tt person knoe who "Friend" refer to.
If my attitidute is bad then you also ok, At least I admit better than somone who don't.

Dun keep telling me you dun like your husband bec of this and tt then say "Friend" also say so.
This is bec your "Friend" had either see your attitidute or living wif you.
Is it bec when a woman is being hurt they will forget how gd the man treat them before?
Do you think it is gd to tell me all this. It your business why mux u bring your problem to us.
Everytime when you quarrel wif him, It really affecting my mood.
Do you think everyone like to listen to pp quarrel.
Keep telling me tt I mux get married but see you like tt do you think I still think I wan get married. Maybe you do not knoe this but I still wan tell you tt I rather remind single if I going to end up like you keep quarrel bec of stupid thing.The stain is there in my heart and I dun knoe when It will disappear.
I feel like escaping from all this.
I feel like screaming FUCK OFF

Below are the word I wan to say to you:
You've got your "fren"
I know wat they say'they tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't noe me (I mean the real me)
Do they even knoe you? (The real you)
All the shit you hid from them
All the SHIT that you do

YOU ARE TESTING MY LIMIT

Story Time

2008-12-11T23:00:00.009+08:00

A man in his 40s education level is secondary drop out.
Every nite he will teach his daughter her hw (especially timetable)
Her daughter slow in learning will alway count finger under the table when it come to time table.
Caught by his father, she alway get scolded by her dad. Her father always show her how her brother did in primary sch(A for pri 1 and 2). He hope by doing so as least it will boost up his daughter confident tt she can do it also. However, her daughter dun feel it this way. Instead she hate study and homework. She couldn't understand why her dad want her to study. As her hw get harder, her dad hired a tutor for his daughter and son. Even with tutor, his daughter result still keep deteriorating, 4 subject she only manage to pass 2 and last postion in class. When her dad see her report card his so angry and demand to check her hw everyday and make sure she study everyday. Her teacher try hard to improve her study, however none work. Her dad will so worry about whether she can make it to Secondary (at least NA). When everyone was busy with their PSLE preparation, she is wasting her time playing with her fren. She was not worry abt exam and her future. But still she manage to get to secondary school (NA) and yes at a lower grade.

Finally her daughter reach secondary school, her sec 1 result is still disappointing. She fail her mid-yr exam. Scolding is a frequent drama when she fail her exam. No matter how angry her dad is, he never beat her. Finally sec 3 she get to knoe some hardworking fren and she start to study, her result improve. During sec 5, during meet-parent-session, the teacher told her dad that if her daughter study hard she can get into Uni. On the way back hm, her dad suddenly say to her daugher " The teacher say you can go uni so you mux study hard". When the gar replied i dun think so, her dad told her he belive she can.Her dad also say if she study hard in pri sch she can get into express stream. This word make her so touch.Her dad hired a math teacher for her as math is an important subject to get into poly. Her dad even hope that she can get into poly and get As for her math in O level. Yes the gar manage to get into poly jux one try. However, she didn't get As for math but for science. This is the first time she saw her dad smile so happily. At Least he got something to be proud of me after so many yr.

A few month ago her father know that her daughter wish is to study university so he told his daughter that he is willing to sponsor for her uni fee. And bear this in mind her dad is not rich ok.
My dad may not be rich but at least I know he care very much abt us. I am glad I had such a great dad and I really wan to thax him for not giving me up even my result is hahaha..u knoe.Thank for all the support maybe there is thing that you dun really agree with me but you never really show it in front of me. You alway let us learn the hard way. And thank for all the freedom you give me. I really appreciate it.

Saw my fren blogging abt father so thinking maybe can post my dad also on my blog..lol..But i knoe he will nv knoe what i writting cos he dun knoe how to use com, unless someone told him.

同一个遗憾

2008-12-09T17:18:00.011+08:00

剩下我们
坐在岸边
看着她越走越远
白色星星
迎着海面沙滩好远
而她的心
去了哪里
我们都无能为力
是谁的手能牵她回来
Tell she know
Don't think so
爱上了同一个遗憾
恍然明白
那时候
为何要
对彼此为难
Tell me she knows
cause i could＇t think so
我们都不属于她的爱
不能重来的伤害
我们都学会了释怀

两个朋友一个最爱
不可能有的未来
只是结局却让我们如此以外
她的决定终于太慢
看那微笑的安排
你怪谁的错谁的错
我们都我们都失败

2008-12-08T23:32:00.003+08:00

Alarm Clock is for sleeping more in bed
Tired is excuse for not doing thing
Excuse is reserve for the next mistake I make
Lazy is a way to stop myself from moving
Attitude is a way to hide my insecure and avoid being hurt
Incapable to make judgment is use to avoiding failure
Ambitious is something that dun exist
Unoptimistic is to let other to help me build up my confident
Selfishness is to get wat I wan
Anger is to let other knoe I am not so easy to bully
Sleeping is a way to get out of reality

OMG wat a "FANTASTIC" Life I have

要得到幸福，就要学会坚强和牺牲？

2008-12-08T23:20:00.008+08:00

Yo here to share some of my fav song:
I really this part of the song

带我走到遥远的以后

带走我一个人自转的寂寞

2008-12-05T22:19:00.003+08:00

I really hate myself..
Feeling in a bad mood..
What done had already been done..
I hurt someone who is so nice to me..

I totally hate myself..
I hate my selfishness..
I hate my inability to make decision..
I hate myself being lack of confident..
I hate myself from being timid
I hate myself from caring want other pp think..
I hate myself from being so dependent on someone..
When can I finally being alone to do thing..
I am jux so vain..

Him

2008-12-04T21:10:00.003+08:00

Anyway you know who you are.
I know the thing I say Hurt you alot.
I also feel very bad that I hurt you.
Why thing turn up this way.
Maybe I should have clarify thing with you, maybe the thing I did really give you a wrong idea.
Because you are too nice to me I dun wan to hurt you anymore nor do I wan you to see you get hurt in future.
The pain will be gone as time pass. If I told you this later you will be deep inside and will be more pain.
Actually I afraid of writting this post bec I knoe I may lost you as a fren but still I dun feel like draggin this anymore.
Like you say before I keep dragging this issue for to long by saying I wan to be fren only to you.

Like you say we never know wat will happen in the end but still I would like to say is dun put too much hope on me, you deserve someone better.. I dun have tt kind of feeling towards you and i think you are not the type I like.. Yes we may not know what happen in future but I dun wan you to be more painful then today cos you are my gd fren..

Actually I should have say this earlier but I keep avoiding this because I scare to lose you as a fren. I know you did a lot of thing for me and I really appreciate it. But if I told you this thing now I feel very bad as like I using you which make me feel very Guilty.
Some action I may give you a wrong idea. I do enjoy being fren with you and thax for accompany me when I am down I really appreciate. Maybe bec you do so many thing to me tt why everytime I feel so guilty and keep saying thax to you.
Of course I dun wan to lose this friendship but I think after this you may not wan to be fren with me anymore.if you dun wan to be fren to me I can understand.

Anyway SORRY & THANK fOR EVERYTHING YOU DONE. You are really a nice guy.It is me who are a bad gar. I suddenly feel I am so evil.

Blessing

2008-12-04T21:00:00.003+08:00

Receive a wedding invitation from my ex-supplier a few yr ago. so happy for her she finally find the one she wan to share her whole life with. It alway blessing to have someone by yourself to take care of you, support you, love you. I may not be able to attend your wedding in philippines but do sent your wedding photo. Anyway thank for inviting me and stay happy with him forever.. I am so envy..lol..

Lost

2008-12-04T20:47:00.005+08:00

Is it normal for everyone to lost their way?
Yes I admit i lost my way. I dun knoe which side to turn to?
Do a people grown old the confident in her start to reduce?
I dun have the courage to do the thing I want.
To give up high pay to get the ambitious i want? I think it need alot of courage to do so.
My courage and confident is starting to disppointing me.

Anyway fren thank for chatting with me yesterday I know you too also lost your way.
However, we manage to find our way back, encouraging each other and support each other along the way.
Anyway jux wan to say Jia you..I alway there to listen and help you along the way...
I came across this pharse and could like to share with the other.

Failure is not fearing.
The most fearing part is you do not knoe how to pick yourself up when you fall
Failure is jux a way to let you the reason why you fail

Cleaning Room

2008-12-01T22:38:00.018+08:00

This is the first time I am so hardworking to clean up my room lol...Dam tired after this..This is the first time I saw so many dust in my room..lol..like 2 yr din clean le..omg..Imagine I living with the dust for 2 yr..anyway i din manage to change the look of my room... thax my cousin Jia Hui & my mum for helping me

Before

Look at the dust on the floor omg

Messy Shelf

Books on Tv

WoW..

Now

Loyalty

2008-12-01T22:16:00.004+08:00

I remeber my boss use to tell me she wan pp who are loyal to work with her. I feel like asking her how loyal is consider loyal?lol..I feel like telling her the loyalty is not in my dictionary.

How much you can get being loyal?

Who on earth is not loyal to money?

Price keep increasing everyday,

if someone pay you a better salary who will wan to stay on?

if you are loyal to boss will he/she be loyal to you & not sack you?

I feeling like telling her I dun believe she can find someone 100% loyal unless she manage to find a old man/woman. Who did not fake MC to go for job interview? I did. Not only I did MC, I even use excuse i can find to skip a day at work lol..

So Loyalty mean nothing to me

What Happen to the world

2008-11-28T22:34:00.003+08:00

First we have financial Crisis.Everyone will panicing, worry abt their job. Bank retrench staff and cutt staff salary. Now even Gvt Sector are affected. Everyone are trying their best to keep their job while some are protesting( Thailand) and launching an attack (Mumbai). What is happening to the world. All like going Crazy. So many thing happen this year and during financial crisis.
Airport is close in Thailand, shipment to Thailand by air are now change to truck, many people stuck in airport panicing and waiting for the first flight back hm. It become unsafe to walk in the street in Bangkok. Hope everything will be solve soon.
Breaking News
Singaporean woman held as Hostage at Oberoi Hotel has been killed.
So far the attack have already killed more than 130 people.
Do thing really have to come to this Conclusion?
Mux we killed other to get our motivation?
I also dun knoe..
With heartfelt condolences to the loved ones of all those who died so tragically in the Mumbai Attack

Can you guess this place

2008-11-28T22:12:00.012+08:00

Actually wan to post this photo few day ago but I was lazy and busy.
Thax AntZx for finding such a nice place for me.It a nice place to go to after a day of busy life at work. I alway wish that my office will have a view of the sea but so far none of my office are faced by the sea.lol.
After looking @ the sea I realise that life is jux like the sea there always Up & Down it jux how you going to face it. Alway after this I feeling more Relax : )

And Guy can you guess who I saw over there?

Ans:Mr Goh Chok Tong

Thank those who are trying their best to cheer me up. For those who are "concern" abt my job I would like to say I fine just that doing the job I dun really like piss me off. So from now I will try to follow my heart.

2008-11-24T16:07:00.003+08:00

Dun really understand why some people can treat their family member like shit lor..
Do a person need to have Money,Status & Car to be acept as a Family Member?
It totally S*ck man..If I had this kind of Family Member I will stay away from them lor so fake lor..Can imagine now is century but we still have people with this thinking OMG..Real look down on them man...Hopethey can stay wealthy forever...Anyway dun care it not my business either...lol...Wat I wan to say is I am not Stupid I knoe who are Fake to me..Those who are Fake I will play along with them..So stay away from me

How to cook a 3 person dinner?
2 vegetable, Herbal Soup(with one whole chicken), Fish

Do you need to cook so much for jux 3 person?
WTH lor..No wonder you like Jacky Neo Movie MONEY NO ENOUGH
than 12 LOTUS..
No wonder you are so tired after cooking...lol

Can you imagine how hard to earn money in s'pore
and from the way you spend sure Die lor..
Somemore Economic so bad lor..
haiz I got one suggestion Maybe you would like to take a Part-time Job to see how hard it is to earn $$..lol..

You

2008-11-24T15:12:00.005+08:00

You are being miss..

You are the one who will call and chat with me when I'm upset
You are the one who rush to my side when you know I'm upset
You are the one who I can pour out my problem and cry infront of you
You are the one I dun have to hide the real me
You encourage me through all the hard time
You are the one I share my future hope with.

Is it bec I feeling upset so I thinking of you
or there is no one that can compare to you?
Although the happy time is so long ago it still seem like yesterday to me
The differ is that this time you can not longer accompany me through the hard time
But I knoe you will encourage me alway
You are so Adorable so God wan you to be by his side
This is the only reason I wan to think of

Without you around, I knoe what I miss...
Thank you for all the thing you have done
The path will be tough but I will never give up bec I got your encourage
The ans to your last qn:
YES only to you

People only learn how to appreciate one's when the person is already gone

人总是要等到失去了

才懂得去珍惜

幸福是多麽的奢侈

Mask

2008-11-21T20:23:00.005+08:00

Staring at my MSN for so long thinking who I can really tok to...I may had many fren in MSN but who are those I really can tok to when I had problem? Count & Count I think only less than 5 ba..lol..Everyone seem to wear a Mask, which is the real them? Who I can really tok to I also dunno..Some concern or question are actually trying to find out more thing abt me which I dun really like to share..Wearing a mask is a way protect yourself from being hurt? or to hide the real you? So for those who are trying to get some Juicy info pls kindly F*ck Off..

Time can really change alot of thing

We use to be so close but now everything jux fade away

The happy time we spend together are slowly fade away

Now we hardly even exchange a single sms or even chat on MSN

Haiz Friendship are jux so fragile.

One Juicy news

Someone expose His Crown jewels.If somme dun knoe what it mean then too bad something cannot say so directly.. Happen to saw this when I going through the forum.

Did I see the Juicy picture? Yes.lol and it look like real lor

So who is that someone?

Clue as below:

1) Is he famous? Yes

2) Singaporean? No (He is from Britain)

3) Is he is a celebrity? No Really (More to political..I think)

I think some younger will like him..cos he is rich and his granny is famous and powerful lor...

So I believe some of you knoe the ans..but cannot post the photo here i dun wan get sue..lol

Over Protected

2008-11-21T02:13:00.005+08:00

I alway knw you are worry and concern for me jux like more parent do. I really Appreciate.To be honest over protected is over my limit...Wat you are doing now is testing my limit..
Please Stop:
1) Lefting the kitchen toilet light on in the middle of the nite when I stay out late.
I know you scare I will hurt myself but come on I am a adult ok..It dark but I still able to see even if I really bump into thing and hurt myself it my fault ok..It a waste of electricity lor..
2) Stop asking me to go sleep when you want to sleep..I old enough if I tired I will go sleep, if you are tired jux go sleep and stop worry abt me and dun need to ask bro to take care of me when he is also staying up late. I knoe tt time I fainted @ hm scare you but it long time ago and if you dun let go I will nv get a chance to really take care of myself and pls bear in mind there will come a day when I will grown up and eventually move out of the hm..i will still have to learn to take care of myself..

Todate we had a agurement but wat I wan to say is I am not angry ok..I cry is bec of the stress. I knoe you are concern abt this I also ok..and belive me I already try my best i already give myself a lot of stress but yr continues mention will make me so fed up and add more stress..so pls dtop mention.. And wat I suggest to you are for your own gd..dun cook too much dishes for dinner.it waste of money if we cannot finish ok..cutting down can save money $$..then got extra $$ to buy more thing you wan ok..
Anyway if i menetion you will say you nv do this and get angry so I dun say anymore le..I will jux thrown my anger here..I had use the com for 2 hr got to shut down..so stop here..

Anyway even we have agrument and quarrel.. believe me I still Love you to bits..hehe..

2008-11-21T01:28:00.004+08:00

This blog was created so that I can put in my thought and thinking.. Below are jux my through so dun take it too hard..This is wat i think ofwhen i bo liao..

Some time ago someone ask me do you think human being are born to be Angel or Evil.How Evil is consider Evil? If toking behind people back/the bad reaction we done when we feel threaten or jealous is consider evil then my answer is Evil. I belive baby are born with some evil in them. Why I say so is bec when as a baby grown up and discover that they are going to have a bro/sis, they will feel jealous and worry tt their mother will love their baby bro/sis more than them..Their reaction and behaviour start to change and some pour their anger to their bro/sis..Who teach them this? answer is No one..I remember when I was young we use to fight with eat other over toy but no one teach us how to fight we jux knoe it and it is like we are born with it.. As we grown we went throught more thing and the evil that is inside our body eventually show up. Ok this is jux my point of view ok so dun take it too hard..One ex-collegue tok me that I am eveil bec I was making fun and toking behind her back then I accept that I am Evil but you are mroe Evil than me..you yourself knoe wat you have done dun think no one knoe abt it most of the collegue knoe we jux chose to keep quiet.

On of my colleague told me that God regret creating Human Being so guy what you all think?

Natural Disasters is a punishment from god or a test to us?

Every Parent want the best for their children, best education, more course so that they are better than other kid but do they really know what the children really want? Have they sit down and think what their kid really need?

Some people use death for escape..Do Death is a road of relief or Death lead to another road of suffering?

There is many advancement for Medical but more people are getting unknow virus..

Hiatus Henia

2008-11-21T00:59:00.004+08:00

What is Hiatus Henia?
A Hiatus Henia is the protrusion of the upper part of the stomach into the thorax through a tear or weakness in the diaphragm.
In simple it mean that the stomach can slid in and out of the thorax unlike normal people where their stomach is fix at one position.

The reason why i post this is because I am diagnose with Hiatus Henia from the first ednoscopy I had done last yr. I had all the syndome you can name of: heartburn,acid reflux,bloated...and also GERD. All my syndome coe back this week and the bad thing is bec of acid reflux, the acid burn my throat and i having ucler, sore throat and difficulties in eating. Even when i drink water in the middle of the nite the water is trap in my stomach..WTH..Bec of this I din sleep well for a few day and party bec of stress la..lol

No choice when back to see Dr Goh @ Ang Mo Kio.He was helping me checking my gastric all tt and advise me of what to do to take care of my gastric. No food 3 hr before sleep, no lying after taking food, no spicy, coffee and tea. He remind me that Hiatus Henia is no cure so you will have to take the medicine once you start feeling bad. I was thinking why i get this and he say I was born with Hiatus Henia. WTH WHY AM I BORN WITH HIATUS HENIA..And if it get serious the only way to cure is to go for a surgery. Luck Best lor..Anyway so now eating medicine..Image eating this medicine for the rest of your life haiz..But compare to those born with illness serious then me I consider myself lucky...

I really need to take care of my stomach before it get worse.I dun wan surgery..Mux stop eating Chilli from now on..

1st time blogging

2006-09-23T00:38:00.000+08:00

Hi thiS iS My fiRsT TimE BlOGgInG...i WiLL TrY tO UpDaTe oFtEn..plS EnJoY mY BlOG.. : ]